There was a time when I felt stuck. I wasn’t able to push things along at work as much as I liked, and it was impacting my motivation for work, bleeding into other aspects of life. It was an uncomfortable feeling. I found it stifling and oppressive. I didn’t know what to do next, or what any of it was for. That sort of stalemate situation kills passion and inspiration.
Floating in this untethered state, I was frustrated with the situation, but most of all, at myself. I couldn’t understand why I felt this much apathy, and it was anathema to my natural state. I started to doubt if I was good at anything, or if I could ever break out of it.
Thankfully, I managed to break out of it by continuing to demand for things to move. I meditated on it (which helped a lot). Ultimately, I understood that I just have to find and create the right conditions for me to be able to take action and fight for what I truly believed in.
Passion and action are intertwined. When you find something you’re passionate about, you feel compelled to take action. When you’re riding on momentum from taking action, you can feel the thrill of passion. These are two imperatives for me these days when I choose what I want to focus on.
I still recall that time that I spent berating myself for running on the spot. I feel regret about all that time, and for not doing more to manage it better. But I can only look forward, and make sure that I endeavor never to feel that way again.
I had one of my watches engraved so it reminds me to keep this mind. As time passes, the only thing is to pair passion and action so I won’t feel regret on reflection.
September 15, 2021