There was a time when I felt stuck. I wasn’t able to push things along at work as much as I liked, and it was impacting my motivation, bleeding into other aspects of my life. I found it stifling and oppressive. I didn’t know what to do next, or what any of it was for. I would wake up and stare at the ceiling for hours, wondering when I would feel passion and inspiration again.
Floating in this untethered state, I was frustrated with the situation, but most of all, at myself. I couldn’t understand why I felt this much apathy, and it was anathema to my natural state. I started to doubt if I was good at anything, or if I could ever break out of it.
There came a turning point. There was a big opportunity, and I pushed relentlessly. All the time I couldn’t do much melted to the back of my mind. I meditated on it (which helped a lot), and then kept influencing and taking action. After everything concluded wonderfully, I’m left with the moral that you just have to trust yourself and take action.
Passion and action are intertwined. When you find something you’re passionate about, you feel compelled to take action. When you’re riding on momentum from taking action, you can feel the thrill of passion. These are two imperatives for me these days when I choose what I want to focus on.
I still recall that time that I spent berating myself for running on the spot. But I can only look forward, and make sure that I endeavor never to feel that way again.
I had one of my watches engraved so it reminds me to keep this mind. As time passes, the only thing is to pair passion and action so I won’t feel regret on reflection.
September 15, 2021